I don’t love cheese. I don’t crave it. I don’t think about it. If it went away, I wouldn’t miss it. The only time I eat cheese is when I’m with friends and we order pizza or quesadillas. Otherwise, cheese isn’t in my routine. I’ve got no beef with cheese (ha!). It’s just that my body craves the sweeter things in life. Boy, did that change.
Day 3 of Veg Week was off to a terrible start. My alarm didn’t go off. Instead of my usual fruit/protein/flax seed/love smoothie, I had my “this-ain’t-no-time-to-be-fancy-grab-some-protein-and-run” smoothie. (Lack of time can kill a dream.) My plan B smoothie consisted of two scoops of whey protein powder mixed with water. I put the ingredients in a bottle, shook, and guzzled. This was going to be a long day.
By lunch time, I was starving. I inhaled another plan B smoothie and an orange. By 4pm, I felt lonely and afraid. Armed with no plan and little hope, I ran to Starbucks for a large coffee. I sipped it slow imagining it was a glass of wine and I was in Paris being cajoled by a dark French guy. I lived in that dream for an hour then headed to the gym for my workout. Full of caffeine and lust, I set a record on my overhead squats and chin ups. That was the first and last bright spot in my day.
At 8pm, I got home and ate a huge bowl of mixed vegetables. I was full but not satisfied. I wanted meat, lots of it. I wanted a burger wrapped in bacon smothered with chicken swimming in fish. But more than that, I wanted to survive VegWeek. So I did the unthinkable. I drove to Whole Foods and bought a block of cheese. I got home and tore into that cheese like an addict. I didn’t know what I was doing or why I was doing it but it felt amazing. An hour later I was in bed with side pains and gas. I’m lactose intolerant.
Day 3 was a success (read: I didn’t eat meat). But it wasn’t pretty.
1. People who pack their lunches the night before are smarter than people who don’t.
2. If you become a crazed maniac at night, it’s because you didn’t eat enough during the day.
3. Crazed maniacs do bad things.
4. Lactose intolerance is not a game.