My first week in Asia taught me to seek the common thread and to laugh at myself. It also taught me this:
1. Americans big. Asians small.
2. One can function in Thailand without knowing the language. One can even thrive. Without speaking, I’ve said: go faster, I don’t know, it’s too far, and chicken. DIY sign language.
3. When you wear a jumbo backpack, you look like a backpacker. Acknowledge the stares with a smile. Heck, curtsy.
4. Try squatting over a standard Thai toilet wearing a jumbo backpack. Really. Try.
5. Now, try not peeing on your shoes.
6. If you have a complex about your weight, don’t come to Asia. Stay at home where it’s safe, where chub is normal. Here, everyone is half your size. Half. 50%. Less than.
7. Mosquitoes find me wildly attractive. Don’t hate.
In other news, I just walked through a glass door. By “through”, I mean pressed myself against at a high rate of speed. Thailand got that good Windex.