Fit and Hungry

One of my clients returned to the fold to gain what was lost: perfectly formed quads. On her first day back, I gave her a look that was familiar but more intense. It said, “This ain’t the hokey pokey but you will be turning yourself around.” After three weeks under my tyranny, she began logging her soreness sessions in a journal. One session moved her in such a way she was compelled to send me a copy of that day’s entry. Here it is:

Dear Fitness Gods,

Thursday night: Hellacious training session!!! I felt it impossible to sit up, cough, stretch my legs full out and wondered if there was ever a time I’ve been this sore in all my life. I decided there wasn’t and began the 15 min process it took to turn my body onto my side so I could fall asleep.

Friday night: Doing the impossible is something I always strive for in life, but conquering the impossible feat of feeling 10 times more sore than what I felt the night before, something I could have lived without…ARGHHHH!

Saturday: Things people that want to live pain free lives don’t do. Go to bootcamp sore as hellzers! Oh and, go straight from boot camp to work. During our Fall open house, I played the role of The Hunchback of Contradiction Dance. I hobbled around the studio, walking as others put it, as if I had something lodged in my butt. D*mn it, when is this soreness going to go away!?!

Sunday: I didn’t know it was possible that I would be able to eject myself from my bed, but after 15 mins I finally emerged and went directly to rehearsal.We had to army crawl on the floor, over and over. Do you understand how that feels when your quads, inner thighs and hamstrings are on fire?? Life pretty much sucked for my body Sunday.

Monday: As I walked down three flights of stairs at 6am to do my motherly duties, I honestly felt my legs were going to give out from under me…I was sure that moment would be the last time I would ever walk again. Visions of tumbling down the stairs filled my head and had me wondering whether it’d be so bad to be paralyzed from waist down, because at least then I wouldn’t feel the burning pain emulating throughout my quads and hamstrings. I sucked it up and walked back up the three flights of stairs (record time 8 mins). Then I went to work, then tech rehearsal, then taught two classes, and performed at the Kennedy Center. I promise you, I think heaven sent down angels to control my legs that day.

Today: I can finally pull myself to my feet without intense muscle soreness. Not that the soreness is gone, it’s just subsided enough for me to walk without cursing. What makes me most proud is as I sit here on my couch writing this and looking at my legs crossed one over the other, I see muscles that I’ve never seen before. And that makes it all worth it.

My client sent this to me because she knows I find her immobility slightly entertaining. While I do not plot to make a client sore, I do believe in working them hard! Sometimes my training sessions lead to the Delayed Onset of Muscle Soreness (DOMS) and sometimes they don’t. It depends. Is this a new exercise? Is this more weight? Is this a test day? Is this an unfit client? Any of these can contribute to DOMS. Personally, I like being sore. When I can’t sneeze, laugh, or roll out of bed because of a killer ab workout, I feel accomplished. Yes, I will wince and grunt and question my chosen profession but I will also revel in my soreness bragging about how long it took me to become normal again. However, DOMS is enough to make some people shy away from exercise.

Where do you stand?

Do you equate the level of post-workout soreness with the effectiveness of your workout? Or does soreness deter you from exercise? Some say “no pain, no gain”. Thoughts?